Dear Enchanted Offspring of mothers everywhere! It’s Mother’s Day and Week 19 of the year and we’re exploring emotional clutter. Check yourself before heading out to celebrate or be celebrated.
The words “mother” and “emotions” seem to go hand-in-hand. If you have or had a rockin’ close tie with your mum, tears of connection can stream down your face as readily as if your relationship were a broken one. We were all birthed from a mom and you may even be a mom, yourself. Emotions are our birthright. Take a moment to review your relationship with your mom, whether or not she is still on this good earth, and take stock of any emotional clutter that might be hanging around to be cleared.
I lost my mom three years ago this week and that first Mother’s Day without her presence on the physical plane was a painful one. I am blessed with three glorious children who made the day enchanting, while also acknowledging the grief in the absence of my dear mother. However, my emotions were a jumble of her end-of-life memories and subsequent emotions, alongside of the glorious life lived holding on to the hem of her beautiful skirt.
Emotional clutter surfaced for me around the notion instilled in me since birth that I needed to accomplish something meaningful each and every day. I had dutifully fulfilled that mission for decades until, at the end of my mother’s life, exhausted physically and emotionally from caring for her for too long before I sought additional help, I challenged her on it. I defended the position that play is as meaningful as accomplishing things and that maybe once in awhile chores do not need to be completed before taking time out to play.
Mom totally agreed that play was important, but believed that it was reward for accomplishments. That’s when it occurred to me that doing things differently wouldn’t make me a bad person. It simply meant that this was an area in which we viewed things differently.
Poof! Magic happened and I was free! Ready to enter into Dragon battle, I told her I would be changing that up, going forward, and she smiled, shrugged, and said, “Okay!”
WHAT?? I had never challenged that before and she just smiled and agreed? It was then that I recognized the emotional clutter of needing approval from her and the fear that I had that if I disagreed, I’d somehow not be okay anymore.
Ahh! To let all of that go and still be loved. Priceless.
Emotional clutter can thwart the possibility of repairing a relationship if you let the Dragons replay the negative past on repeat. Allow for new communications by having an open mind and heart. Maybe you weren’t able to see each other clearly. Maybe you still can’t but that doesn’t mean you have to give up. Perhaps just let it rest while you create “family” from people with whom you choose to spend time. Sometimes you can agree to disagree.
And just so you know, ridding yourself of emotional clutter and clearing communication includes relationships with anyone.
1. Listen to how things are for them, without judgment.
2. See them as the flawed humans that they, and we, all are.
3. Sift through what they share about you and see if any of it might be true. There is sometimes a grain of truth in the criticism and always room for improvement.
4. If you are being mistreated, retreat to safety and don’t continue to enter the lion’s den.
5. Send prayers after them for their healing and for a peaceful planet that houses us.
6. Learn to accept and give nurturing to yourself and others.
Envision the best qualities of mothering and integrate them into your life.